


Spiderwebs

by PuddleJumper8



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 04:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuddleJumper8/pseuds/PuddleJumper8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We stick Lily and James into a huge spider web that only let's go of them once they've made up, or made out." Sirius exclaimed with a huge smile across his face. "That's stupid." Peter said immediately. "You know, it's actually not as stupid as the other ideas, which is why it might work." Remus agreed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this stupid little story way back on 9/23/07 and for some reason I still kind of like it.

"How are things with Evans?" Sirius asked James as he came into the dormitory.

"Sharing a common room with her is like hell." James said truthfully.

"I thought you loved her?" Remus asked not taking his eyes off of his Charms textbook.

"I do, but when she's acting like a monster, it's not pretty." James said.

"So, you've pretty much came here to escape her wrath." Peter added.

"Pretty much, yeah." James said sitting down on his old bed. "It's only October and I already can't stand her."

"What happened to, 'I get to share a common room with Evans this year?'" Sirius asked.

"Things change Padfoot." James said as he walked into the bathroom.

"He so likes her." Sirius whispered as James closed the bathroom door.

"Yeah. You've never noticed that before?" Remus asked.

"Of course, he told me. But now, it's getting out of hand." Sirius said.

"But he said sharing a common room with her was like hell?" Peter asked. "That usually means that you don't like someone."

"But he LOVES her." Sirius said. "We've got to get them to talk to each other; not yell at the other."

"Good luck on that one." Remus said.

"Good luck with what?" James asked as he walked back into the room.

"Sirius passing the Transfiguration exam." Remus said quickly.

"Yeah, good luck." James said. "I'm gonna go to the Quidditch pitch, I'll see you at dinner."

A chorus of "Bye James" filled the 7th year dormitory as Prongs left to go shoot some Quaffles.

"We've gotta think of a plan." Sirius said.

"What plan?" Peter asked.

"Plan 'Get James and Lily Together'" Sirius said.

"That's original." Remus said sarcastically.

Sirius, not picking up on the sarcasm said, "I know. And I thought of it all by myself."

"What a surprise." Peter whispered to Remus. They both laughed at Peter's comment, and Sirius just looked at them.

"What?" he asked.

"We're just surprised that you thought of that all by yourself." Remus said patting Sirius on the shoulder.

"Always the tone of surprise." Sirius said to his laughing friends.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sirius, I think that you've gone mentally insane." Remus said seriously.

"No, I really think that it would work." Sirius argued. Throwing James and Lily into a room together could result in the destruction of Hogwarts.

"It is the stupidest idea that I've ever heard." Remus answered.

"You think every idea that I think of is stupid." Sirius mocked being upset.

"Well, that's because they are all stupid. 'How about we send them to Vegas and force them to elope'" Remus said in a Sirius like voice. He was loosing his patience with Sirius.

Remus, Sirius and Peter were brainstorming ideas to get Lily and James to stop fighting, and hopefully get them together. Although that idea seemed almost as stupid as the plans Sirius came up with, they somehow thought that it would work. James was at Quidditch practice so it was the perfect time to discuss ideas for plan "Get James and Lily Together."

"Well, how about Mr. Brilliant over here coughs up some ideas." Sirius said directing it at Remus. Peter was just watching his two best friends going back and forth, not even bothering to get in the middle of this one.

"You see, that's the problem, I have no brilliant ideas." Remus said. He was rather frustrated.

"Time to think of one buddy." Sirius threatened. "No wait, I've got an idea." Sirius said looking at his nightstand.

"We're not shrinking them and putting them in a drawer with all of your shit in it." Remus interjected.

"That wasn't my idea." Sirius said. "I think I'm brilliant."

"Some people may have a different opinion." Peter whispered under his breath.

"Then tell us your idea Mr. Brilliant." Remus said half laughing.

"We stick Lily and James into a huge spider web that only let's go of them once they've made up, or made out." Sirius exclaimed with a huge smile across his face.

"That's stupid." Peter said immediately.

"You know, it's actually not as stupid as the other ideas, which is why it might work." Remus agreed.

"Where will we put this bewitched and humungous spider web?" Peter asked.

"In the room of requirement of course." Sirius said. "But how will we get them there?"

"We could stun them when they are on rounds, and drag them there with the cloak." Remus suggested.

"Sounds good." Peter nodded.

"What sounds good?" James asked as he walked into the dormitory covered in dirt from Quidditch practice.

"Dinner." Sirius said thinking quickly. "Dinner sounds good."

"You ate lunch two hours ago." James said.

"I'm still hungry." Sirius said while rubbing his stomach.

"You ate three helpings, and then the left over food from my plate." James retorted.

"I'm Sirius. I love to eat and do as many girls as possible."

"I'm gonna walk away and pretend I didn't hear that." James said as he headed towards the bathroom.

"We almost blew our cover." Sirius whispered. "Now James thinks I'm a completely sick person."

"He didn't know that before?" Remus questioned.

"That's true." Sirius answered.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Lily Evans." Sirius whispered as he took out his wand to stun her.

"Let me do it Sirius." Remus whispered.

"Why?" Sirius said. "It was my plan, I wanna do the honors."

"If she hears you, she'll be able to block you. I can do it silently." Remus argued.

"Party Pooper." Sirius whispered to himself as they walked directly behind Lily.

A jet of red light burst out of Remus' wand without a single word uttered from his mouth. Peter caught Lily (he almost dropped her), and dragged her under the cloak with them.

"How is everyone supposed to fit under here?" Sirius asked.

"This was your brilliant plan Sirius, not mine." Remus said.

"Damn it. I always mess the details up." Sirius whined.

Remus and Peter just rolled their eyes as they walked down the corridor to where James was doing his rounds. Remus stunned him as well, and Sirius caught him and dragged him under the cloak.

"He is going to kill us." Sirius said.

"Again, it was all your idea." Remus said. "Be quiet, someone might hear us."

"I don't see anyone on the map." Sirius argued.

"I know, but we don't wanna wake up the portraits." Remus answered. "They will alert a professor that students are out of bed after hours."

"Are we almost there?" Peter whined.

"Oh please, Evans isn't heavy." Sirius said. "I've got James; he's a lot heavier than her."

"True that." Peter said as they approached the correct broom closet.

Remus stepped out from under the cloak, and performed enchantments that were very complicated. He let Sirius, Peter, and the stunned forms of Lily and James pass through the door. The broom closet didn't look like a broom closet anymore; it was a pretty big room with white walls and red carpeting.

"Spider web?" Remus asked.

Remus reached into his pocket and took out the spider web. Remus enlarged it, and attached it to the ceiling. He performed the necessary enchantments, and Sirius and Peter placed Lily and James onto it. Peter took their wands from their hands, and put them in his pocket. They walked out, and Remus magically made the door slide down about six feet to the right. He opened the door, and it looked exactly the same as the broom closet.

"How did you do that?" Sirius asked when they were under the cloak again.

"I actually pay attention in class." Remus answered.

"Damn it, I've gotta try it sometime." Sirius said again. Remus just rolled his eyes as they continued their walk back to the Gryffindor dormitories.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lily woke up with a headache. She felt like she had been stunned, and dragged off and hidden somewhere. When she fully woke up, she found out that she wasn't too far off. The worst part was that James Potter was laying there with her.

"POTTER!" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs.

"WHAT?" James asked reaching in his pocket to get out his wand, which wasn't there.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE POTTER?" Lily screamed.

"I DON'T KNOW EVANS." James screamed back.

"Oh my god." Lily almost whispered. "We're on an enlarged spider web. I hate spiders."

"Oh shit." James said. He sat up, and walked down the web, but when his food touched the floor, it shot him back up to where he was sitting before.

"What the…" James surprised. He looked just as scared as Lily. Lily was staring at him; her eyes were large.

"Potter, did you have something to do with this?" Lily asked in a mock-nice voice.

"No." James exclaimed.

"I have a feeling that you are behind this."

"Why the hell would I wanna be stuck in a spider web, with YOU of all people?" James argued back at her.

"I don't know why, which is why I'm asking you." Lily retorted. "If I find out that you or your little friends were behind this, you are going to spend the rest of this year in detention."

"Was that a threat?"

"No, it was a statement of what I'm going to do to you when we're out of here." Lily said with a smile creeping along her face. The smile soon turned into a frown. "Oh my god, I'm going to miss my classes."

"Cool it, it's Saturday." James said. "Oh my god, I've got Quidditch practice! I can't miss that!"

"Calm down. That's not the end of the world." Lily said. "Oh my god, I still have to do some homework." She was starting to flip out, and James feared that if he moved an inch closer to her, he wouldn't make it out the room alive.

"You'll have time to do your homework later." James said calmly. An uptight nervous Lily was much more aggravating (and more intriguing.) than normal Lily.

"I don' know why I'm here, or stuck here with YOU!" Lily said. She was so frustrated, nothing could calm her down.

"Why do you hate me so much?" James asked. He didn't know where that came from, but it just came out of him.

"What?" Lily asked.

"Why do you hate me?"

"Well, let's see. You're arrogant, obnoxious; you hex Snape whenever you get the chance…"

"I only hex Snivellus when he deserves it."

"NOW you do. You used to just hex him for the fun of it. It's not nice."

"Since when were you Snivellus' best friend?"

"I don't think that is any of your business."

"Oh. Evans and Snape sitting in a tree F-U-C…"

"SHUT UP POTTER!" Lily yelled super loud. "WHAT ARE YOU, FOUR?"

"You still didn't answer my question." James said calmly.

"I did, I said you're arrogant obnox-…"

"No, seriously. I think I'm a lot better this year, I'm not as arrogant." James admitted.

"Key words: Not As Arrogant." Lily chimed in.

"You're hopeless Evans, you really are."

"Why am I hopeless Potter? Could you please inform me?"  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Just some minor swearing in this chapter!

"Do you think Evans killed James yet?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not sure. They've been in there for a while." Remus answered.

"Once they kill us, we'll know that they're out." Peter assumed.

"Peter's right, they are going to kill us." Sirius said. "Evans is never going to let this go."

"But if she and James are happy, then she'll thank us." Remus reminded them.

"Or, she'll yell at us because she's behind in homework." Peter laughed.

"Don't make fun of Lily." Remus argued. "She's like me; she studies, and actually does her homework." Remus was looking directly at Sirius when he said that.

"Hey. I do my homework." Sirius argued.

"Telling a girl that you'll sleep with her if she lets you copy the homework doesn't actually count." Remus laughed.

"No, but it gets me some of Hogwarts hottest ladies." Sirius bragged.

Remus banged his head into his Potions textbook a couple of times. "You sicken me."

"It's the best part about me." Sirius smiled.

"Being perverted?" Remus asked.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Why am I hopeless Potter? Could you please inform me?" Lily asked.

"You're blind." James said simply.

"I think I see perfectly well thank you."

"Well then. How long have I liked you?" James asked.

"What?" Lily asked him back. She had been told that James had a crush on her, but she never took in a word of it.

"You heard me, how long have I liked you?" James asked again.

"I don't know." Lily said. She was surprised that he was actually admitting it. Usually guys were the ones to hide all of these feelings.

"Since first year." He said back to her. He never took his eyes off of hers.

"You had a really weird way of showing it." Lily screamed. "All of those stupid pranks that embarrassed the hell out of me."

"Sirius said it would get you to notice me." James said never raising his voice.

"YOU TOOK ADVICE FROM SIRIUS?" Lily screamed back.

"It was early in the year." James said defending himself. "And don't insult my best friend."

"You can't talk about insulting people Potter." Lily yelled pointing a finger in James' face.

"You always turn around everything I say to make it seem like I'm a bad person." James said getting frustrated.

"Well, you're not far from the point." Lily roared back at him.

"Why are you screaming?" James asked her. He loved it when she got angry, but he hated it when she was angry at him.

"Because I'm pissed off about being in the same room as you." Lily screamed back at him.

"Most people would pay to be alone in the same room as me." James boasted. "And we're in rather close proximities considering we're stuck in a huge spider web in only god knows what part of the castle."

"You see? That's one of the many reasons that I hate you, YOU ARROGANT PRICK!"

"Ouch. That hurt Evans." James mock cried.

"Welcome to my world." Lily replied angrily.

"What do you mean?" James asked. He was so frustrated with her right now.

"You and your little friends use to tease me and prank me all the time. It really hurts, and it may be funny to you, but not to me."

"I told you last year that I was sorry for everything." James apologized.

"And I told you that I don't forgive you." Lily stated.

"Why?"

"Because you hut me so much." Lily admitted. James took the chance and moved a little closer to Lily. He was surprised when she didn't kill him.

"I really am sorry Lily." James apologized looking straight into her beautiful green eyes.

"How do I know that you're really sorry?" Lily asked. "How am I supposed to know that you and Sirius won't prank me again tomorrow?"

"I promise no more pranks on you. I can't promise on anyone else though; because we're the marauders, and that's what we do, we prank people." James explained.

"I'm aware that it's your favorite pastime." Lily joked.

"Did Lily Evans just make a joke?" James asked surprisingly. "Uptight, school crazy, head girl? This web must be messing with her mind."

"I think it's messing with both of our minds." Lily laughed. "Your friends did a good job bewitching it."

"Why do you assume it's them?" James asked.

"Who else could come up with something like this, and then pull it off?" Lily asked. A small smile could be seen across her lips.

"True that." James said staring at the smile, wanting to know what her lips would feel like against his…

"I still suspect that you're behind this." Lily said sternly.

"Why?" James asked. Lily's statement brought him out of his daydream.

"Because you're the mind behind all of the Marauder pranks." Lily stated.

"Yes I am, thank you." James smiled.

"I forgive you James." Lily said softly.

James felt like he was falling, and he hit the soft carpet with a 'thump.' Lily had fallen too, and the web had disappeared.

"So does this mean that we won't fight anymore?" James asked. He walked over to her, grabbed her hands (which sent sparks up his spine), and pulled her to her feet.

"I don't see how we won't fight, but it will probably be a lot less." Lily stated. "I think everyone will benefit from that."

"Yes, very true." James said. He grabbed Lily by the arm, and walked over to the door. He tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge.

"Why won't it open now?" James asked. "I'm hungry!"

"Is that all guys can think about?" Lily asked.

"Yes. Food, girls, and in the case of the Marauders, pranks." He heard Lily laugh.

"How the hell are we going to get out of here?" Lily said, suddenly serious.

"I don't know, you're the brilliant one." James explained. "You come up with a brilliant escape plan."

"Yes, but you're Head Boy." Lily argued.

"And you're Head Girl."

"I don't know the type of enchantments that your friends put on this room." Lily explained. "If I knew what they were, then I could lift them."

"Maybe there's like a time limit or something." James suggested.

"Maybe, I don't know. I guess we should just sit here and wait." Lily recommended.

Lily and James sat in the same spot for what seemed like hours. Both of them were just sitting there, staring at the door.

"These enchantments aren't going to lift are they?" James asked.

"Usually all enchantments lift after a certain amount of time." Lily responded.

"What would I do without you?" James asked.

"You would probably destroy the school." Lily retorted. Her comment caused both of them to laugh. James moved an inch closer to Lily, hoping that she wouldn't notice. Much to James' liking, she did notice him moving closer, but she didn't object to it.

They were sitting about three inches from each other. James couldn't help himself; he was sitting a couple of inches from the girl that he had been in love with since first year. He tilted his head towards hers and placed his lips on hers. The kiss was soft and light, nothing too passionate, but nothing worth not remembering. James didn't have to imagine what it felt like to kiss Lily Evans anymore; he was actually living it.

When the kiss broke, Lily looked at James. "If someone told me yesterday that tomorrow I was going to kiss James Potter and like it, I would've had them shipped of to St. Mungo's."

"I'm taking that you like it then." James said smiling.

"Yeah." Lily said. "But don't think I'm still not going to yell at your friends for locking us in here."

"Don't be too hard on them." James begged.

"Don't worry, I won't." Lily said with a mischievous smile across her face.

"I'm going to try to open the door again." James said getting up from next to Lily. The knob on the door actually moved, and he could see the second floor of the castle.

"We're Free!" James called picking Lily up and swinging her around.

"Let's go kick some Marauder ass!" Lily suggested. They both walked up to the Gryffindor common room hand in hand.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I think that they killed each other." Sirius said.

"He may be right Remus." Peter agreed.

"Since when is Sirius ever right?" Remus asked.

"True that." Peter agreed with Remus.

"We should really go check on them." Sirius suggested looking at Peter and Remus.

"Give it another hour." Remus suggested.

Ten minutes later, two people come bursting into the room. This scared the shit out of Peter, Remus and Sirius, which caused them to jump out of their seats on their beds.

"You're alive!" Sirius screamed running over to hug James and Lily.

"So it was you guys that did this." Lily said in a stern voice.

"Yes." Peter said feebly.

"Thank you guys." James said.

"James and Lily sitting in a tree F-U-C…" Sirius chanted.

"I see where he gets it from." Lily laughed. "The three of you each get a night of detention."

"What?" Sirius asked.

"You guys did lock us in a room and trap us in a spider web." James said.

"That was his idea." Remus said pointing at Sirius.

"And you guys went along with it?" Lily said directing this at Remus and Peter.

"Yeah, we thought it was a good idea to get you two to stop fighting." Remus argued.

"You're right though, it did work." James said putting his arm around Lily.

"I was right! I was right!" Sirius chanted.

Lily and James just looked at each other and laughed.


End file.
